Choosing Me

PERMISSION GRANTED.

Yesterday, I reminded myself of all the roles I carry.

Daughter. Granddaughter. Mother. Wife. Sister. Friend. Caregiver. First-generation Mexican-American. A woman who is incredibly proud of where she comes from and excited about where she's going.

And somewhere in that very long list is simply...

Me.

I've been thinking about how often we wait for permission.

Permission to rest. Permission to say no. Permission to spend money on ourselves. Permission to take the trip. Permission to change our minds. Permission to try something new. Permission to want more. Permission to simply enjoy the life we've worked so hard to build.

But here's what I'm learning:

Nobody is coming to hand us that permission slip.

Sometimes we have to write it ourselves.

Before Life Started...Lifing

Think about yourself before all the adult responsibilities.

Before the mortgage. The career. The kids. The schedules. The appointments. The laundry. The caregiving. The bills. The “what are we having for dinner?” texts.

Remember when someone would ask:

“What do you want to do when you grow up?”

And we'd answer without thinking about PTO, money, childcare, responsibilities, or whether it was practical.

When I grow up, I want to ______.

So let me ask you something:

Did you do that thing?

Maybe you did.

But maybe somewhere between growing up and life lifing to the fullest, some of those dreams got lost.

Not intentionally.

Life just...happened.

We started doing what needed to be done. We became responsible. People began depending on us. Our priorities changed. And some of the things we once imagined doing became things we'd get to “someday.”

The problem is that someday has a funny way of staying someday.

I'm Not Selling You a Pipe Dream

And listen—I am NOT here to tell you to quit your job tomorrow, drain your savings account, buy a one-way ticket somewhere and yell,

“SOUL DE FUEGO MADE ME DO IT!”

Please don't.

Everything has to exist within reason.

Choosing yourself doesn't mean ignoring your responsibilities. Intentional living isn't reckless living.

For example, I would LOVE to go to Bali for a beautiful two-week retreat.

Do I currently have an extra $15,000 sitting around waiting for me to spend it on Bali?

Absolutely not. 

So I'm not packing my bags tomorrow.

But here's the difference:

I'm not dismissing the dream either.

It's something I want to experience.

So I can research it.

I can create a savings goal.

I can decide what it would take.

I can give myself time.

I can make choices that move me a little closer.

I can turn “Wouldn't that be amazing?” into “How can I make that happen?”

And believe me when I tell you...

I will get there. 🔥

Maybe not tomorrow.

Maybe not this year.

But I'm no longer automatically putting the things I want into the category of probably never.

Your Bucket List Deserves More Than a Pinterest Board

And your dream doesn't have to be Bali.

Maybe you've always wanted to learn how to dance.

Take a solo trip.

Go back to school.

See the Grand Canyon.

Learn Spanish.

Take pottery.

Write something.

Plant a garden.

Go camping.

See your favorite artist in concert.

Start a business.

Take your mom somewhere special.

Travel with your girlfriends.

Run a 5K.

Learn how to make your grandmother's recipe.

Get on an airplane for the first time.

Wear the swimsuit.

Take yourself to dinner.

Whatever it is—it's yours.

Some dreams require thousands of dollars and years of planning.

Others require $30 and a free Saturday.

Sometimes the biggest obstacle isn't actually money or time.

Sometimes we've simply gotten so used to putting ourselves last that we've stopped considering our wants important enough to plan for.

That's the part I'm changing.

Permission Granted

This week, my affirmation is:

🔥 You have permission to do what sets your soul on fire.

I'm going to tell myself that in the morning.

And I'm going to tell myself again before I go to bed.

Because choosing myself doesn't mean I stop being all the things I am to the people I love.

It simply means ME gets added to the list.

I can love my family fiercely and still have dreams of my own.

I can be responsible and still be adventurous.

I can care for other people and care for myself.

I can be grateful for the life I have and still be curious about the life I haven't experienced yet.

Those things can exist together.

And maybe that's what Soul de Fuego is really about.

Not throwing away the life you've built.

Not becoming someone completely different.

Not chasing some unrealistic version of happiness.

It's about looking at the life you already have and asking:

Where can I make a little more room for ME?

More connection.

More adventure.

More laughter.

More experiences.

More rest.

More memories.

More things that make you think:

THIS. This is what makes me feel alive.

🔥 Now I Want to Know About YOUR List

Take yourself back for a minute.

Before all the adult responsibilities...

What did you say you were going to do when you grew up?

Did you ever do it?

And what about your bucket list right now?

Is there something you've been talking about doing for years but haven't started making happen?

Maybe today isn't the day you actually do it.

Maybe today is simply the day you decide:

I'm going to stop treating this like a fantasy and start making a plan.

Tell me in the comments:

🔥 One thing on my bucket list is __________.

And if you're feeling brave, add:

The first thing I can do to make it happen is __________.

Mine?

Bali. 🇮🇩

I don't have my ticket yet.

But don't count me out.

I'm adding myself to the list.

Are you?

Come as you are.

Bring YOU.

With fuego,

Cindy

Founder - Soul de Fuego

🔥 Do What Sets Your Soul on Fire.